Writing your vows can feel overwhelming—it’s hard to put all those emotions into words. But think of it like writing a love letter to your partner, one that captures the essence of your journey together.

If the idea of sharing your deepest feelings in front of a crowd makes you anxious, you’re not alone. Even if your wedding isn’t an intimate elopement, you can still exchange vows privately. You deserve to be open, vulnerable, and real without the pressure of an audience.

When I photograph these moments, I keep a respectful distance. Whether it’s just the two of you or you’ve invited guests, I make sure the words you share stay private, allowing you to express everything you feel without distraction.

And remember, even if you know exactly why you’re marrying your partner, finding the right words doesn’t always come naturally. But don’t worry! Here are a few tips to make writing your vows a little easier.

Tips for Writing Your Wedding Vows

1. Reflect on the Beginning

Revisit the early days of your relationship. Think about how you met, when you knew you were in love, or the moments that pushed you to grow together. Whether it’s the memory of your partner’s hands around your waist the first time they said, “I love you,” or how they’ve made you a better person through challenges, share what stands out in your heart.

2. Embrace Both the Highs and Lows

Your vows can be a blend of humor, sentiment, and honesty. Talk about the tough times you’ve weathered, but also celebrate the joy and peace you’ve found together. There’s no need to choose between funny or serious—you can express it all.

3. Look Forward to the Future

Share what excites you most about your future together. Whether it’s dreams you’ve imagined or challenges you’re ready to face as a team, paint a picture of the life you’ll continue to build side by side.

4. Highlight the Qualities You Love Most

This is your chance to go deep. Whether it’s your partner’s unwavering loyalty, their love for family, or the way they keep you steady in tough times, let them know what you admire most. And don’t be afraid to sprinkle in some humor if it feels right—vows can be both heartfelt and light.

5. Write Them Down Early

I can’t tell you how many couples have waited until the last minute to write their vows. Avoid the stress! Whether you type them up on your phone or write them in a beautiful vow book, make sure you’ve got them ready at least a week before your wedding. Having them written down makes the moment feel more tangible—and it gives you something meaningful to keep forever.

Real Vow Advice from Past Couples

Here’s what some of my couples have shared about their own experiences writing vows:

1. “I wish I’d included more heartfelt words.”
   Some couples felt a bit awkward when they kept things light and funny while their partner got more serious and emotional. Finding the balance between humor and depth can be tricky, but don’t be afraid to include a mix. Your partner will appreciate hearing how much they mean to you, even if it feels obvious.
2. “Writing them last-minute was so stressful.”
   Leave yourself plenty of time. Writing your vows the night before or on the morning of your wedding adds unnecessary pressure. Give yourself the chance to reflect and write from a calm space—your words will feel more authentic that way.
3. “I wish I hadn’t used my phone.”
   While typing your vows into your phone might be convenient, it can feel a little impersonal. Some couples have told me that it took away from the magic of the moment. If a formal vow book isn’t your style, even writing your vows on a piece of paper can make a difference—and serve as a special keepsake.
4. “We’re so glad we kept our vows private.”
   Many couples find that private vow exchanges allow them to be more open, honest, and personal. Without the pressure of a crowd, you can create vows full of inside jokes, deep truths, and raw emotion. Remember, this day is about the two of you, so do what feels right for your relationship.

Creative Ways to Present Your Vows

Want to take your vows a step further? Here are some creative ideas for turning them into lasting gifts:

• Have a calligrapher write a line from your vows on an old vinyl record if music is your shared passion.
• Frame a photo from your elopement with a handwritten copy of your vows on the back.
• Engrave a line from your vows onto a watch, bracelet, or necklace as a timeless gift.
• Or, if you’re feeling bold, you and your partner can even get matching tattoos with a line or two from your vows.

Your vows are an opportunity to express your love in a way that’s uniquely yours. There’s no “right” way to write them—just be yourself, speak from the heart, and trust that your partner will love every word.