How to write vows? A lot of couples struggle with this – it can seem impossible to put feelings into words. The best way to get started is to think of it as a private letter to your partner.
The beauty of an elopement is that you can be open, authentic and vulnerable with your partner, without having to share your heart with an audience.
When photographing, I keep my distance so I can’t hear all of what you’re saying, and even if you have guests present at your elopement, you can stand at a distance in order to keep your words relatively private.
You can know deep in your bones why you’re marrying your partner, and still not know exactly what to say. But here are some ways to make it a little bit easier to put how you feel into words.
These are just a few ideas of topics or things to include in what you write about your partner. Just remember that there’s no “right” way to write your vows! You do you!
1) …that they felt slightly awkward about making their vows strictly funny and jesting – while their partner wrote deep, serious, and heartfelt lines. They wish they could go back and add in a few more loving and heartfelt thoughts instead of keeping it all funny and lighthearted.
It’s hard to walk the line between funny and serious, but try to include a mix of both. No one knows your partner better than you do, so say everything that you feel about them. You may think whatever you’re going to say is implicit and doesn’t need to be said, but they’ll appreciate hearing it regardless.
2) …that they felt stressed out trying to come up with something to say the night before.
Do yourself a favour and write out your vows at least a week before your wedding day. You’ll save yourself a lot of stress – and avoid potential writer’s block – by not leaving it until the last minute.
3) …that they wished they had thought ahead to write them down on paper.
A lot of couples have their vows saved on a document in their phone – which works just fine, in theory. But some couples felt that it took away from the intimacy and wildness of the moment to have a phone in hand. Depending on the light, it can also be hard to see the screen properly to read what you’ve written.
If having a vow book doesn’t really feel like you, then you can opt for something else! You can write it on a simple piece of paper, and then gift your partner a copy of the vows in a creative way.
4) …that they were glad they wrote their wedding vows as more of a private love letter than a public speech.
So many people cringe at the thought of standing in front of a crowd of people and divulging their most intimate feelings about their partner. Eloping couples said that they were SO glad they had intimate ceremonies and private vow exchanges, where they felt free to make their vows hyper-personalized, full of inside jokes, and completely open and honest.
Talk to your partner ahead of time so that you’re both on the same page when it comes to exchanging vows. But when it comes to what to say – just be yourself. Your partner will love you for it.